Mother’s Day is not always HAPPY! 2-13-19
May 13, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMF8IW6cIVg

[Music]
morning you guys and welcome to Monday I
am sitting here I had to meet somebody
earlier this morning to give her my
tumblr or give her her tumblr that she
bought and so um sorry no there's a
glare it's because my radio there um so
I met with her before she had to go to
work so she could get her tumblr but I'm
a little bit early for my counseling
session so I was like wow I'm gonna stop
off and just sit under somewhere where
it's a little bit cool and just relax
for a few minutes before I have to go in
for my counseling um I have like this or
starting on my no it's not a it's not
one of those cold sores it's like I
don't know if it's like like if I burned
it or something I don't know but it
hurts so bad I woke up with well
yesterday I noticed it and then of
course that didn't sound good of course
when I have like a little bump or
something of course I got to make it
worse so I sat and picked out it all
night last night while I was up I just
can't stop it's ridiculous but um
anyways so I'm just sitting here waiting
to go into counseling but I just wanted
to check in with everybody and say good
morning
I feel like it's really weird because
this morning I was on my way to go meet
this person for her Tumblr and this
person like jumped out in front of me
like literally jumped out you can tell
this person probably has like some
mental issues so I avoided hitting them
hitting her
then turn around and after I dropped off
the tumbler I pull out into main traffic
and there's a guy standing right in the
middle of the street I almost hit him
I'm like oh my gosh I gotta honk my horn
at him like dude get out of the street
you're gonna get it and he's just like
like a duck just waddling across the
street like no one's business I'm just
like oh you um you're gonna end up
getting hit it's getting ridiculous over
here I don't know how much you guys all
know but Salem never really had like a
homeless issue I mean we've always had
homeless people don't get me wrong and
mental health has went down so bad
within the last year year and a half
that for some reason here in Salem they
have flocked so I feel like it's almost
like Salem's getting taken over by
homeless and people that are not getting
the help that they need for their mental
health issues and it's getting scary
like literally getting scary I was
reading a thing yesterday on Facebook
I'm a part of a group where they talk
about like things that are going on in
Salem and things like that well this
lady was talking about how she got out
of the store and she got into her car
and she locked her door because she
always locks her door and these people
like was she past him going into the
store and she said they kind of seemed a
little bit shady but she wasn't like she
just wasn't paying much attention then
when she got out of the store SH they
were still there she seen him so when
she got in the car she locked the door
well next thing she said she looked up
and they were standing in front of her
car mumbling to each other and then the
woman walked to the side of the her
driver's side and the guy walked to the
passenger side so she's like I just
cracked my window just a little bit to
see what they're wanting and they were
asking for money and she's like I told
him know that I don't have any extra
cash to give them and she's like the had
my doors been unlocked she's like I
think it would have ended up different
and it's like how scary the times where
we live now where you have to watch your
back
like you have to have eyes in the back
of your head on the side of your head in
every direction because especially here
in Salem I don't I don't know about so
much like in Portland I know I know
Portland has sent a lot of them down to
Salem in Portland's pretty taken over to
I mean they are but it's just I don't
know it's crazy it's scary it's sad it's
everything in between but I just this
morning with those two people jumping in
front of my car I'm like uh-uh
I'll hit you ha ha ha I'll hitch up
before I open my door for you um so yeah
I don't know it was crazy I just an
email
Amy don't fly with that I mean I don't
have a problem with people but stay your
distance from me because I don't have
time and I don't have like my nerves
can't handle my nerves can't handle that
at all it just doesn't happen
so anyways well I am on my way now to my
counseling and after that I don't know I
I think we might be going back up to
Portland's we got to go and do something
for Ali's business I'm not a hundred
percent sure he wasn't a hundred percent
sure if we were gonna go today or what
so I don't know if that's what's in the
plan or not but hopefully I like going
and doing stuff during the day because
it kind of
kind of makes the fasting go a little
bit faster if that makes any sense
because we're kind of busy but either
way I've got I've got enough to do
around the house that honestly I mean it
could keep me busy
I need to finish a couple well I have a
cup that needs to get epoxy on it I've
got some final I need to cut so I mean
I've got lots of stuff that I need to do
anyways oops there goes all my stuff
come on buddy go I can't turn until you
turn so if we don't end up going to
Portland then I know what I'm gonna be
doing I know I'm gonna be busting butt
trying to get these cups done cuz I've
got one not needs her cut because it's
part of her sports stuff so yeah but
anyways um I will check in with you guys
after counselling and let you know how
everything's cool all right I love you
guys and I'll talk to you soon okie
dokie I am back I just got out of
counseling I am headed home now it was a
good session I will definitely say that
it was a good session you know with
Mother's Day just passing yesterday you
know
Mother's Day could be the best holiday
ever to some and to some it could be the
worst holiday ever and I think with me
you know it I think with me it's just
you know Mother's Day wasn't what I
wanted it to be in a sense that I really
I have this painted picture of what
Mother's Day should look like and
Father's Day and all these other
holidays and you know my counselor said
something today that really just has
stuck with me is that you know there is
no Hallmark card family out there like
every family has their flaws and the
things that go along with that and you
know I just want to you know extend my
hand out to the ones that were suffering
yesterday you know Mother's Day can be
such a tough and lonely day for some and
I just want to say that
I fill you and I understand because it
was not the best day for me either
in the sense that you know I have the
desire to you know have my mom you know
spend Mother's Day with me and go and do
things with me and go out to look go out
to lunch and go shopping and you know
extend gifts you know exchange gifts to
one another those are all my ideas of
Mother's Day but I unfortunately I don't
think that will ever happen and I'm not
trying to throw my mom under the bus but
I'm just saying like she's not at that
position in her life where I don't think
that that's something that she's capable
of but I have to remember that I have my
own little baby girl and I can start
making those memories that I want with
her you know we can make those memories
every year you know mommy takes us right
out for lunch and we go and you know buy
a little gift for each other you know I
mean it's just that that
that's the statue of what its gonna be
is I have to start making memories with
my children of the memories that I wish
I had with my family and with my parents
and I'm not gonna be able to do that
with my parents so let me make those
memories and and experiences with my
children but you know for the the
mothers out there that were suffering
yesterday you know because they've lost
children or you know women out there
that are suffering because their mothers
are no longer with them or you know they
don't have relationships with their
mothers just know that my hand is
extended to you and that I completely
understand the pain that you guys were
going through yesterday because I too
was going through a lot of the same pain
in my own ways and I dealt with it in my
own way
and I coped with it the best that I
could
by all means I had a great day but it
doesn't mean that it didn't go with a
little bit of heartache and I just want
everybody to know that you're not alone
and that hurt okay I need to get over
that you're not alone and that I am
there walking this same journey with you
guys and I understand that you guys you
know probably feel alone but there's
many of us out there that suffer the
same thing but anyways yeah that was
that was a good session because there
was a lot of great tools that were
reached out to me and that's always a
good thing so I am now on my way home
and then after that I like I said I
don't know if I'm gonna go to counseling
I'm not quite sure what I'm doing but
our counseling going to Portland let me
see if I can think this right if we're
gonna go to Portland or not but I will
let you guys know as soon as I know
what the plumber so anyways I will check
in with you guys in just a bit
